It was in my underwear, it was pulling on my penis. His hand was exactly where you're thinking it was. But I didn't "wake-up".Īfter pulling the covers back onto myself I waited half an hour, and was starting to pass back out. When his hand got hold of the elastic I rolled myself over as hard as I possibly could and made a bunch of noise. It gets worse as he decided I was infact asleep, and he reached for my underwear.
He's leaning over the front of the bed looking. At this point I know exactly what's happening. The covers lift from my legs, then they move a bit further up and come off at my thighs. This time I remember last time and don't ignore it. I go to sleep like normal, I wake up, the cover is moving again. And this is the hardest bit to write, because of all the things I never thought to happen to me, especially from him. This is where shit gets fucked up for me. J and I went out to the pub for a meal and a couple of drinks, it was a pleasant evening, we went back to his and watched a movie. Nothing more happened except the noise of him masturbating. As I was drunk and asleep I was weirded out but wasn't 100% sure so decided to ignore it.
But I'm sure I saw J laying on the floor at the bottom of the set-up. Then I swear I felt the blanket moving, I looked but was still asleep and still really pissed. During the night I've no idea what time, I wake up and my legs feel pretty cold, so I roll the blanket back over them, didn't get up or anything. He always says to sleep in the same bed but I categorically refuse. Set up a kinda mattress thing, we weren't in the same bed. I slept in his room with his other closest friend. We did and he was fine, but yet again he was telling me how much he loved me and that I hurt him by saying what I did. He basically just up and left, so it all came to a stop and we went out to find him. I specifically avoid my own around him, but this time I slipped and said about my intimacy with my last train wreck relationship. The last time this happened was because we were with a few friends and the topic of relationships came up. A fairly consistent pattern has arisen, whenever we go out and he drinks too much we finish up sat on a bench somewhere with me trying to console him and him telling me he has nothing except me and another very close friend of his, and how he doesn't know how he would go on without me. Okay now skip forwards a fair amount, I'd say 2 years to current date.
I also noticed how whenever we would talk about relationships J would floor me with compliments and how fit I am or how nice my legs are etc (I work a manual job and exercise but I'm nothing special) or how he would comment on the other guys in the bar, kind of like how guys do to girls. I'm really not the kind of guy that likes contact at the best of times, so for me it would make me flinch. (He still occasionally does)Īs a result of being told that I began to drink less with him, he didn't slow down and I could see for myself that J was far far to comfortable. I always pointed out when he slapped my ass and told him to stop that. Handsy with me, nothing too major but J would place his hand on my thigh or slap my ass. The thing I was unaware of was that he was quite. Which of course I told them I already knew that. So I'm unaware of a lot, however I was told by a few other close and oldest friends that he was in love with me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't occasionally have the lingering thought that he loved me however.Īs we became older and could drink legally (18 in the UK) we would go out on the piss and end up blind drunk.
We stayed much the same for the rest of school. Which I tried my best not to, the catch was he admitted he was in love with me. He never came out to me because he was afraid of the way I would react, if I would distance myself. When we were 16-17 I finally got round to asking him if he was gay, he hadn't come out yet but it was painfully obvious. (Let's call him J) J and I have been friends for around 9 years now, we always got on really well at school and had the same sense of humor and life views. He doesn't know I know, because obviously I woke up.Īnyway, to set the scene a little. So the title is fairly self explanatory as to what happened. IF you are triggered by sexual assault stories I advise you do not read this.